Think . . . . I'm either a moron, neutron or an isodope...    Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest  element yet known to science. The new element,  Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant  neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy  neutrons, giving  it an atomicmass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called  morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of  lepton-like particles called peons. Since  Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however,  it can be detected, because it impedes every action  with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction  that would normally take less than a second to take  from four days to four years to complete.   Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it  does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization  in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and  deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase  over time, since each reorganization will cause more  morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.